WHY THE DATING PERIOD FREAKS ME OUT

Can we just skip to the part where we are married with a beautiful set of triplets, an amazing home with a huge balcony that overlooks the swimming pool, a dog and an exciting love story of how we met?

If you are a lady, past the age of 25, single and whose friends cannot wait to be your bridesmaids and are on your neck to go out  and ‘meet some guys’, you probably relate to this topic.

We all agree that love is a beautiful thing… especially with the right person. I know, I should have just left it at ‘thing’.

I do not doubt that. But, it is the process before marriage that just wares me out. I give up just before the Quarter Finals.  At the ‘getting to know someone’ stage of love. My God! You know, right before you even get to know their second name, hobbies and birth date and year- just imagine you now have to find out what they are allergic to and how many babies they may be having out there. Like they could be serial killers, but you can’t just dive into that question before all these mini-important details are revealed to you.

It is EXHAUSTING!

Then again, how many dates does one need before they can get to know all these fine points? Know him in and out. If there is anything like that. At all. The first few dates, you may just have to pretend like you chew very slowly, in slow motion and that you speak in a very friendly tone aaaaand you do not easily get freaking mad at the little things, let alone money.

Why money? Money is an important topic in marriage and in any serious relationship- you need to know how someone relates with money. They could be gamblers for all you care. BUT NOoooo, you have to wait until a few dates are covered before you address that important question. You may even get to drugs, and alcohol before you address money and sex- the two most vital things in any relationship just because you don’t want to seem like a gold digger leave alone ‘thirsty’ (read -sex deprived) woman.

Who sets the dating rules anyway? This is because some of the things I touch may be covered earlier on in the dating stage- depending on different people but, we always want to seem like Angels before we get down to important details. Like who set the rules? Please, do not seem like a relentless feminist too soon- so they say.

Now imagine having to seat there for over three dates, pretending like you like the person when all you are really doing is pretend to like them until you find out whether you really do. I don’t understand that either but that is what happens.

You get to a point in life where you are graced with maturity and a little bit of patience, may be even a pinch of hope that people may turn out to be what you really hope they should be. You guy, this may take more than five dates of disgusting food, annoying chewing sounds, poor taste of venue and lack of passion into something that may never be.

So, you occasionally reach out to the guys you know somewhat, at least with them you don’t have to pretend to be ok, when gas is building up in your tummy, you do not have to take their shit and you can tell them outright that they are being dumb, slow, cocky or even rude.

This is why women end up marrying guys they are already used to even if there is a whole World of wrongs with them.

Oh well, it is 2018, right? A year of trying new things, just like every year… LOL! I think guys should be coming on dates with a list of questions. Like both parties, we agree beforehand we shall bring a set of questions, just like a game night. Make it as real and as awkward as possible. Laughing and cringing makes conversations a lot more interesting. The whole traditional way of dating is boring to me. Like, really boring (Rolls eyes).

I think it is easier to know a lot about someone within a short time if you are having fun. How about hiking, rock climbing, road tripping, an exciting event? Anything but the traditional- Seat, Stare and Breathing Contest…. And a whole lot of tension that comes with it. Dating should be fun and chilled out. Not stuck up and pretentious.  I believe.

So, to all the single mamaz out there. Go out and explore the World. Keep doing what you love. Travel. Read.  Dance. Watch movies. Go on dates. As many as you can. Try blind dates. Feast on Ice cream and Pizza. Work out if you can. Enjoy life. Let that guy who is wasting your time off your mind. Allow yourself to meet all the Mr. Wrongs. Only from that mess, will you get to meet your Mr. and if you are lucky, live happily ever after. Let your man see you shining. Aaaaaaand, bring him home. (A note to self actually).

Let’s do this! All the best!