DEAR SINGLE FRIEND OF THE 'TAKEN' NAIROBI WOMAN - FINAL VERDICT
About time, right?
It has been over two months since my last post or so. I have been trying to figure out a better way to fold my mind around this topic, now that I am on the other side of things. Ha ha!
In my previous post that addressed the taken friend of the single Nairobi woman, i received lots of feedback on my mail and most of it talked about how the single woman in that post sounded so selfish and 'unfeeling' of the taken Nairobi woman, she should at least be happy fr her friend and supportive.
My thoughts: AMEN TO THAT!
Dear Single lady,
I know how well you are doing, you chose to do it all by yourself. You chose independence, you chose to do you first before you could find love, you chose to do the right things for 'YOU' before you can settle for the 'WE'. Heeeey honey, the is nothing absolutely wrong with that, just one thing do you rub it in on your taken friend so much that it makes them uncomfortable. She is your friend, close friend remember???
She confides in you when she is hurting. Or did you forget you might have taken a stand to be single until you get a man that treats you right? She found hers, but like you know honey, nobody, not even you is perfect, ad at times the stupid mistakes we make, including your BFF's man catches up with us. So, she comes to you all the time to confide in you, because she trusts that you can have her back in such times.
It is too bad then if all she gets to hear from you is, "Men are this and that", "men cannot be trusted", "Umma do me", "Honey do not let him put you down" kinda speech. How can she trusts you when time after time all you show her is she did not think through it all before she allowed herself to fall in love with such a loser, well that is how it sounds sometimes, scratch that, ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
It is okay to be single btw, nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with that, and one of the reasons yu feel comfortable is because SHE MADE YOU COMFORTABLE, she told you it is okay, she let you cry your pain out when the last one failed. So fudge that happy to be single speech around her. Why would you want her to second guess her decision about her man?
BTW, the single ladies do not always intend to hurt you, they are just excited with the feeling of freedom after a very bad relationship, okay? Oh, good you knew that already.
Okay, let us make peace now ladies, shall we?
We all chose to be or not to be loved. We all chose to love or not to love. We all chose to fall in and out of love. We all have very good reasons, sometimes, emotional decisions of the choices we make. We do not have to explain why we do somethings. We should not be made to feel like we need to explain our position to settle for something we think is good for us.
The single woman does not need to have come from a bad relationship, she does not need to be with a man. The taken lady does not need to have to explain all the time to her single friend why she cannot hang out with her, she does not need to feel cautioned before approaching the single friend for advise.
IN THE END: We all made sober decisions, if you have to second guess yourself anytime someone makes you feel otherwise, then just may be honey, that decision was not entirely made.
Be you. Do you. Feel you. Pick the right friends.
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